just over 6 months ago…
i landed on the island of Maui
i instantly knew i needed to stay (my sacral just felt it)
even though it didn't logically make sense
i had NO plan before coming here
the only thing i did was set an intention to heal...
from my conditioning, and from past relationships that left me feeling depleted and empty
i had no idea the journey of this healing would turn out to be so intense
it's funny to me the way we think of things in our minds, and then when we actually are living it out.. it looks completely different than how we thought it would
ya feel me?
telling this story i can see how this all sounds really inspiring
like, i didn't know how any of this would come together or work out, and yet somehow it all did
living this story, is way different than reading it on social media
i've been told i'm living the dream, and that my life is like a really cool video game or movie
but some days, i feel stressed, lost, and confused
i often wonder why i let myself live this way
i feel sad, and angry
yes i know anything is possible
and i know i can create anything i want
so why have i created such turmoil? such oscillation with my living situations and finances?
why can't i just "have my shit together" already?? whatever that means..
my point is, healing looks a lot different than we think it does. and what we hear about on social media
it's not often pretty
most days my healing journey has looked like me crying in my bed snuggling my stuffed unicorn
what is really cool though, is that even on the days where i feel it couldn't get any worse, and it's surely not going to get better... it does. life surprises me
and i find that it all happened for a reason, to get me to where i needed to be in the end
i'm sure one day i'll learn to let it be gentler
but for now, i haven't quite figured that out yet (life as a 1/3 profile...)
so i come back, again and again, to practices like meditation, yoga, nature time, and gratitude
that help me to remember that i DO have control over how i react and respond to life around me, no matter what it looks like or how it all makes me feel